Exceeding in Sexuality
By Anthony Casperson
6-17-23
The preacher’s point was that God created everything with a mind toward humanity’s enjoyment of it. For we human beings to desire, and also fulfill that desire.
Even he admitted that a discussion of human desire would lead many of us to think about sexuality. And so, though he had a broader perspective about God creating things for human enjoyment, the preacher largely used the example of sexuality for his discussion about our desires being a good thing.
(And also gave me a nice place to start this blog about sexuality, regardless of the fact that we’re using different passages.)
The issue when it comes to talking about the boundaries around our enjoyment of human sexuality is that we tend to focus more on the rules themselves, instead of the reason behind them. And this makes us look more like we just don’t want people to have fun because we’re pointing in shame as they reach for pleasure.
Which is similar to what the Pharisees and scribes were doing during the time when Jesus preached. They focused so greatly on the actions and the rules, following the exact words as written—or at least made it seem like they were, even though many tried to find loopholes—that they missed out on the entire point that God provides for the boundaries.
In this latter part of Matthew 5, we’ve heard Jesus preach that the ethic for his kingdom requires that our righteousness exceed even that of the Pharisees and scribes. And in last week’s blog we looked at how the Law might tell us to not murder anyone, but the point behind it was that we’re supposed to live in community—representing the communal aspect of God himself in our lives. Thus, if we hate someone so much that they might as well be dead to us, we are just as guilty of not living as God intended.
And in today’s passage, Matthew 5:27-32, we see the second and third “You have heard it said…but I say…” of Jesus’ examples for how to live in righteousness that exceeds the Pharisees. Both of which deal with human sexuality.
However, since we don’t want to have a righteousness that focuses only on the rules and how we can get around them—like the Pharisees—let’s not just point at the boundaries saying, “Don’t cross this line,” and then call it a day. Instead, let’s look to the deeper reason behind the boundaries. Place focus on what they teach us about God, and how that relates to our bearing of his image.
We find the first of these two examples of sexuality in verses 27-28. Many who have had much of any conversation about sexuality among the people of God have likely heard this passage. Those who follow the God of the bible should not commit adultery. And this isn’t just about married people not having sex with someone who isn’t their spouse, as if unmarried people can just go have all the fun they want. Rather, “adultery” is taken as meaning any sexual encounter outside of a union of one man and one woman within the boundaries of a lifelong commitment.
Many in our culture today might disagree with that concept, but it was commonly received during the time of Jesus. And should be the standard of Jesus’ followers today.
Yet, Jesus expands the command further than most would take it. He seems to make the command harsher, while also freeing his followers from the shackles of mere rule following. And he does this by saying that if a person looks at another in lust, they are guilty of the same type of sin. Lustful looks might not carry the exact same consequences as actually committing the deed, but they make us just as guilty of breaking God’s design for human sexuality.
It’s here that I tip my cards—or show my entire hand—to indicate the point of God’s design for sex.
Every human being is made in God’s image. We’re representations of him, regardless of how broken and marred that representation might be. And in the sexual union of a man and a woman, humanity enacts the unity of God himself. The will of three persons—Father, Son, and Spirit in the Trinity, and husband, wife, and God in marriage—joining for one untied purpose. To work together in one united will. This marital union is the closest to the understanding of the eternal union of God that humanity can experience.
As well, the typically expected outcome of this union is a creative one. In Genesis, God said, “Let us make man in our image,” and then went about with the action of making one—followed quickly with another. And likewise, a married couple will come to the point where they essentially say, “Let us make a child in our image,” and go about with the action of making one—or more.
There’s a reason why it’s called procreation. It’s humanity continuing in God’s example of creating image-bearers of God. New, living, and active representations of the God who lives and moves and has his being.
When we go finding sexual partner after sexual partner—or imagine ourselves with them—what we’re doing is representing another god. One that selfishly seeks their own pleasure above unity. A schizophrenic god that combines their will with some strange will one day, only to combine it with another one the next. A perverse god that creates nothing more than darker methods of self-pleasure. And far too often, a destructive god that sees anything created as a huge mistake which must be gotten rid of.
The marital bed is an altar of worship for the God we serve. And the act of giving ourselves sexually to our spouse is a sacrament, a holy sacrifice, to that same God.
With this in mind, the question then arises, “Which god are we worshipping with our sexuality?” The answer to that might just show us what kingdom we belong to.
This is why Jesus continues in Matthew 5:29-30 that if your right eye or right hand—two of the most likely accomplices of lust-filled self-pleasure—cause you to sin, that you should cut them off. Because it’s better to go into the kingdom maimed than it is to go to the end result of any other kingdom while physically whole.
Of course, Jesus says this drastic thing more for the effect than a hard-and-fast rule. The point is that we must rid ourselves of every part of our selfish sexuality that comes natural to fallen humanity. But we should do this because we followers of Jesus belong to a kingdom that has a unified, creative, and self-sacrificial God. A kingdom that has the ethic of acting like that same God. For us to be a part of it, we should seek to be like him, not some other god. And so anything that gives worship to another must be cut out of our lives.
When we act in any other manner, we represent a different and false god of our own devising. The boundaries don’t keep us from having fun. They help us know more about the God we serve, the God we represent to the world. And this experience of a godly life will be far better for us in the long run than missing out on something that other people who belong to any other kingdom have.
Following this same line of thought, in Matthew 5:31-32, Jesus shifts the example from general sexuality to the lifelong commitment that marriage should be. Here, Jesus speaks of the Pharisees’ interpretation of God’s resigned allowance for divorce.
He says that they had heard it said that if a man divorces his wife, he should give her a certificate of divorce. Basically, this is a legal document that proves a woman is free to marry another husband. It was a provision to help women in the case of a nasty ex-husband who wanted to hurt her so badly that he removed her prospects of future support and life.
However, many of the Pharisees had shifted the idea to free the man to divorce his wife no matter the “offense” she made against him. Losing her beauty or the equivalent of burning the man’s toast are the extreme—but still used—examples of a woman’s “offense” in that day. (Though, it’s the man who acts like that who is truly the offensive one.)
There was debate amongst rabbis during Jesus’ day where some held to the above reasons to allow divorce, but others said that divorce was only acceptable in the case of marital infidelity. Since the bond of unity had already been severed in that previous act, there was no need to act as though maintaining it was necessary.
And it seems like Jesus sides with the latter of the rabbis mentioned. However, while the end result is the same, we must continue to see this as having a righteousness that exceeds the Pharisees. Thus, the point still stands that there is something deeper than just the rule following of not getting divorced. We must see how this continues the kingdom ethic that Jesus has been preaching.
And again, it comes down to the previously mentioned purposes of sexuality, particularly marriage’s representation of God’s unity. When we divorce, what we’re representing is a god who makes a commitment, but won’t keep that promise. One who will be unfaithful for even the slightest “offense.” And while some might falsely believe that God sends people to hell for any less offensive sin, that is not the God of the kingdom Jesus preaches. It is only those who refuse to join God’s kingdom who find the end result of their choice is eternal death and condemnation.
Therefore, the purpose of this command is not to shame those who have made mistakes in the past. Rather, it’s to uphold the glory of the God who exists in trinitarian unity. Human representation of the God whose image we bear is at the forefront—praise and glory to the God we serve—not rule following and the shame brought about by failure.
And so, I feel it necessary to end this by saying that the purpose of this blog isn’t to point in blame at anyone who has experienced less than preferred actions in regard to sexuality. If I were, I’d have fingers pointing back at me too. (Lust—and the anger mentioned in last week’s blog—is one of major areas of sin that I most struggle with in my own life. And I remain thankful for forgiveness every time I fail.)
However, we must keep Jesus’ purpose in mind so that we move closer to that perfection of the kingdom every day. Because of our representation of God on this planet, we must remember that our actions show all of creation the type of God we claim to serve. When we show a selfish god that seeks pleasure above all else, we make ourselves an idol of a false god. And live as though a member of a kingdom destined to eternal punishment.
We must continue to cut out those sinful parts of us that don’t represent our God. But don’t feel shame for past failures that have been repented of. God’s commands help us experience him in joyful bliss as we reflect him more and more. See the God who created everything for us to enjoy. In the way he made us to experience them.
Including human sexuality.
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