Surprised by Growth
By Anthony Casperson
3-11-23

Those who’ve been paying attention to a number of these blogs throughout the past couple of years might have noticed that I’ve mentioned the novel I’d been writing. It’s been finished for a few months now. And I’m in the process of trying to find a literary agent to represent the book. (My experience with publishing the non-fiction book I wrote previously—Hydroponic Spirituality—made me realize that I didn’t want to go that direction again. So, I’m trying a more traditional method with the novel.)

During this process, I’ve already sent out book proposals to a handful of literary agencies. And plan on contacting more as the time presents itself. (It takes a while to research the agencies and write up the unique proposal that each one requests.) And I have received a couple of responses already. Obviously, they’ve been rejections. Otherwise I wouldn’t still be seeking representation.

For someone like me, who’s prone to bouts of depression and have long had rejection issues, this process isn’t an easy one.

But as the rejections have arrived, I’ve noticed that my normal cycle of depression hasn’t triggered. The typical response of feeling a soul-crushing pain that brings lies of failure and worthlessness to my mind is nowhere to be found.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve still felt sad and disappointed through the experience. But the wallowing in lies and self-pity that have often been my experience wasn’t my first reaction with these rejections.

Instead of letting the lies beat me up as soon as they come, I keep repeating the truth in the face of the rejections. “My value and worth is not based off of these people’s acceptance of my writing.” “Rejection doesn’t mean that I’m worthless or my writing sucks; the book simply might not fit into their current openings for representation.” “Just because one agency isn’t a good fit for me, it doesn’t mean that another won’t work.”

Through previous rejections in my life, I’d eventually get to such reminders of truth. But it would take a while for me to think about them. Or they’d quickly get overrun again by the hurtful lies. So, when statements of truth bombarded me before the lies could hit from these recent rejections, it struck me as odd.

Had I spiritually and psychologically grown without realizing?

Apparently.

But my point in sharing this growth isn’t to pat myself on the back. I’m sure I’ll have some flubs back into old patterns from time to time. Rather, I want to praise God for the unnoticed growth. And use it as example for everyone else struggling through similar bouts with lies.

None of us want to be blindsided by sorrowful lies. It sucks to feel depressed. Especially when we can’t escape the voice speaking the untruths. But it is only through living such trials and repeatedly speaking the truth into the pain that we can learn to stand up to the disappointments of life without falling into depression.

It’s then that we can join James when he says in James 1:2-4, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (ESV).

Do you know who can count trials as something to be joyful for? A person who has finally stood up through the battering. Someone who remained faithful through the test after failing so many times before. The man or woman who took hold of the strength of God and persevered.

The testing grows us to maturity. It shows us how far we’ve gone in our spiritual lives. And prepares us for the next trial to come.

We understand this when we view stories of heroes facing difficulty after difficulty, enemy after enemy. When they rise to the occasion and move to their ultimate fate. But when it comes to our own struggles, we forget that the trials push us to maturity. They call us to rise and overcome.

Yeah, we’ll fail. Over and over. But even failures can create growth. Rejections can push us in the direction of God’s best for our lives. It’s through the trials that God can show us that we lack nothing in him.

How has God shown you growth in your life? What trials have you learned to stand through? Or perhaps, what problems are growing you into the person God is shaping you into?

Count it joy when you’re surprised by growth.