Here I Am
By Anthony Casperson
7-20-19

This past week, I had physical copies printed for the first draft of the book I have written: Hydroponic Spirituality: Thriving In The Depths. These copies are for those whom I’ve asked to give me feedback on the book. My hope is to make the book the best it can be before it gets published (if it comes to be accepted by a publishing company).

This is exciting news. But it’s only a minorly adjacent fact to my point in today’s blog.

When I was talking with someone about the book, they asked me, “So, what caused you to decide to write it?”

I responded, “Someone needed to.” In all honesty, I wish someone else had written the book. It would have been nice if, while I was first starting to deal with dark thoughts, depression, and anxiety, that I could have picked up this book and learned its lessons second-hand. I would have loved for there to be someone early on to show me that there’s nothing wrong with us when we find ourselves in the dark waters of The Depths.

But no one else had written it. A plethora of teaching exists that calls us to just wait out the darkness until we can be brought to the sunshine again. Yet what happens when this delve below the surface of the dark waters has gone on for years and decades? I’ve never seen that discussed.

There are many people who need to hear this teaching. People like me who wish someone else had written the book so that they could pick it up and learn its lessons. Someone needed to write it. And I rose my hand, saying, “Here I am.”

The thought in my mind goes to Isaiah 6. God had revealed himself in full glory to the prophet. Angelic figures sang of the holiness and majesty of the one on the throne. The earth shook even as the prophet fell to his knees.

He cried out in utter devastation that he, a man of unclean lips from a people of unclean lips, had seen the glory of God. He’d come face to face with the holy God and understood the extent of his sinfulness. One of the fiery angels brought a burning coal for the prophet’s lips, cauterizing the wound of sin.

The voice of God called out that he had a mission to complete. Something needed to be done. But whom would he send? Who would go?

The questions hang in the air for a moment. And just as the rumble of echoes die down, a squeak pipes up, “Here I am. Send me.” Isaiah’s hand raises above his head. In the Hebrew, what the prophet says is a mere two words. A handful of syllables. But their value is beyond compare.

Isaiah saw the need of his people to witness the truth of God. He understood that they needed the truth presented as he had seen. And he recognized someone needed to proclaim this truth. So, he raises his hand to accept the call of God. “Here I am.”

What is God calling you to do? What is the need that you perceive someone needs to do something about? Are you the person to answer the call?

It might not end with writing a book (like me) or advising kings (like Isaiah), but God has placed within each and every one of us the means by which we can accomplish his call in our lives. He knows there’s a need and speaks forth, “Who will go?” And he awaits our response.

“Here I am.”